An open letter to Pia Kim Mendoza

Jon Lucas and I have a ride-or-die friendship.
Hi everyone,

I was very busy all day with my mother and Wansapanataym’s newest installment, so I didn’t get a chance to read Pia Kim Mendoza’s statement until now. But when I finally found the time to do so, my eyebrows soared with every line I read. Read it below if you want to understand why.

Pia Kim Mendoza's response to the controversy.
Pia, were you high when you wrote your statement? Because from where I sit, it makes absolutely no sense. First of all, you didn’t apologize for your tweet. You acknowledged that it was wrong, but there’s a huge difference between that and a real apology. Nowhere in your statement did you say “I’m sorry” or anything like it. In fact, instead of apologetic, you came across as defensive.

Second of all, who you are is irrelevant, or at least it is to me. As far as I’m concerned, the issue isn’t your character, but what you tweeted in response to Franco Hernandez’s passing. I think it’s safe to say that none of us—Jon Lucas, me, or Vice Ganda—knew you before you caught our attention by putting your foot in your mouth. I don’t presume to speak for Jon or Vice, but I admit I drew my own conclusions about your character based on your tweet.

So you told us we don’t know the real you. Alright, Pia. Point taken. But as Taylor Swift wrote in the prologue of reputation, “We think we know someone, but we only know the version of them they’ve chosen to show us.” Look, Pia, I’m sure your family and friends think you’re amazing, and under the right circumstances, maybe you can be. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the side of you that you showed Jon, me, Vice, and everyone else on Twitter. With your tweet, you showed us all a side of you that’s hateful and mean-spirited.

Third, I’m so amazed you had the gall to say, “Sana bago nyo ko pinagsalitaan ng foul and offensive words inisipi (sic) nyo muna kung anong ginawa ko sa inyo para pagsalitaan ang family and friends ko ng ganun.”

Pia, I could say the same of you. Sana bago ka nag-tweet ng ganun nag isip ka muna. Do you really believe that what you tweeted wasn’t foul and offensive, given the cirumstances? Can you approach me and Vice in person, look us in the eye and tell us that wishing Jon had died instead wasn’t foul and offensive? Ano? Sagot.

Franco died. So many people, Jon and Vice included, were grieving. If you’ve never experienced the loss of a friend or family member, you’re lucky. But I have, and let me tell you that it sucks beyond the telling of it. When I lost a close friend (actor AJ Perez) in a car accident six years ago, it took me a long time to get over it. I wasn’t close to Franco—I only met him briefly a few months ago—but I can imagine how much his family and friends are hurting right now. Because I’ve been there.

You tweeted something foul and offensive when people were in major emotional pain. Personally, what really upset me was when you wished Jon had died instead. Jon and I are like brothers. He’s the nicest person you could ever hope to meet. Furthermore, he’s already suffered two huge losses this year. Jon's mother Jean and actress Isabel Granada (who played his character's mother in Got to Believe) passed away within months of each other. Jon doesn’t need more crap, especially from people like you, which is why I decided to dignify your clumsy statement with a response. As anyone who knows me can tell you, I’m fiercely protective of my friends. But I digress.

You brought up freedom of speech by telling us, “this is a free country, we can do what we want.” I think you're misguided. You believe having freedom of speech gives you an excuse to be horrible to other people. That’s not how it works. Freedom of speech is a great power. But as any Spider-Man fan knows, "with great power comes great responsibility." We need to exercise freedom of speech responsibly by being careful about what we say, especially if it may hurt others.

So let me ask you, when people reacted badly to your tweet, how did you feel? Weren’t you hurt? If you did, then you probably know how Jon, Vice and anyone else who saw your tweet felt—and you’ll probably agree that no one should ever have to feel that way. I’m sorry you felt hurt. But, and I hate to be the one to point this out, you brought this on yourself. No one would’ve come for you, guns blazing, if you hadn’t tweeted anything. You can’t do or say something hurtful then play the victim card when karma comes around.

Have you ever heard the old saw that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all? That’s an option you might want to consider in the future. If you don’t like me, or Jon, or Vice, that’s alright. But what you did went beyond that. It was in extremely bad taste.

You didn’t state an opinion, Pia. Saying you don’t like Jon, that’s stating an opinion, which of course you’re entitled to. But saying sana siya na lang ang namatay instead of Franco? That’s not stating an opinion, that’s being downright horrible to someone who never did anything bad to you, at a time when he was suffering. Not to mention disrespectful of the person who actually did die.

You want to talk being “masahol pa sa hayop?” I have two golden retrievers. Whenever I’m sad, they comfort me by jumping into my lap or licking my face. Even dogs have the capacity to be kind when people are in pain. That's why they’re called “man’s best friend.” Eh ikaw? You must have known Jon and Vice were in pain, but you chose not to be kind. You chose to be cruel.

You said you didn’t expect them to notice your tweet. Why? Because they have millions of followers  between them and a correspondingly large number of notifications on any given day? That’s such a pathetic excuse. In this day and age, with social media having become a vital part of communication and the exchange of information, you had to have known that somehow, your tweet would find its way back to Jon, Vice, or one of their friends. And it did, which is how I came to be writing this open letter.

You asked, who are we to judge you? Oh, we’re just the people you hurt in less than 280 characters. I put a version of your own question to you. Who are you to say something so horrible to a guy who never did anything like that to you? And the “simpleng tao” defense? You know that line’s a load of bull, right? This isn’t about them being celebrities and you not being one. It’s about you not treating another human being with basic human decency when that would have been the right thing to do.

You should’ve owned up to your mistake and apologized. But instead you acted as if the shoe was on the other foot—as if kami pa yung mali dito. Wow. Sorry po. Sorry po na nasaktan kami sa sinabi mo tungkol sa kaibigan naming nagdadalamhati dahil namatay ang kaibigan at katrabaho niya.

Pia, I hope you never ever end up in a situation where you’re in need of compassion, kindness and understanding. Because if you ever do, I’m really not sure you can expect any of those things from the universe considering how you behaved today.

If you want people to be compassionate, kind and understanding towards you, you have to be able to extend the same grace to them. You get what you give. You reap what you sow. Think on that.

Julian

Julian Mauricio

The old Julian can't come to the phone right now.

28 comments:

  1. Think before you click kase. Tsk tsk

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  2. On point. Spot on. Had the same contradictions and logic on each of her statements - line per line. Hope this would give her a clearer perspective of how she effed up with her misdemeanor.

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  3. Grabe sya sir. Grabe. I cant. Sana lang mabasa nya to at maintindihan. Englisher po sir eh. :) anyways, sana din mahanap nyo sya at makausap ng personal pra magtanda. Marami po ang katulad nya, hindi sya nag iisa. Sana kahit isa man lang makita nyo at malapatan ng kung anumang kaparusahan kung merun man. Nkakagalit po kasi talga ang mga taong katulad nya/nila. Hay Lord.

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  4. sana nga matauhan na sya. condolence po🙏

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  5. Very well said. Halata namng napaka defensive nya. Haynaku tao nga nmn kahit tama kamn or mali. May masasabi talaga sila sayo na hindi maganda. Godbless that woman.

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  6. Very well said.

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  7. You took all the words from my mouth... This is what these people need to think about when they play victim after doing something horrible... Instead of admitting their mistakes, they would play the victim to gain sympathy...

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  8. Very well said, Jules. Maraming tao ang nasaktan sa sinabi ni Pia. Di man ako fan ni Jon and Franco, I still admire all of the hashtag members. Haaay. My deepest condolences to the family of Franco as well as to his friends. God bless you, Jules. I hope mabasa to ni Pia and marealize niya ang mga binitawan niyang salita.

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  9. respect of the rights or reputation of others - i think people now a days forget that this is also part of the freedom of speech. good read. im hopin vice will calm down and just let God to the rest. ��

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  10. Sa lahat ng taong katulad ng pia na yan, please naman be sensitive enough or isipin nyo man lang kung okay lang ba lumalabas sa bibig nyo. Ang proud mo masyado Pia Kim! Ayaw kong magsabi ng walang kwenta sa mga tao but you're worth it!!! Gigil mo kami!

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  11. Sana mabasa mo to Ms.Pia..sometimes we dont need to be intelligent to understand, we just need a mind with a heart.

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  12. Very well said...

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  13. Everything you said is an eye opener, not just for Pia, but for everyone who sees freedom of speech in a very different perspective. That's the very least thing Pia could be -- defensive. I wonder how would she react if she's on Jon's shoes? That's the problem with people in social media. They never dare to think deeply before blasting tweets and posts. I adore you of being so courageous in writing this open letter in the midst of grief and pain. It might have been very difficult for you but this is not just for Jon but you spoke for a lot of people that have been mute with this kind of issue. My condolences to Franco's family and I wish betterment for Jon, Vice Ganda and to you. Good day.

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  14. Tama. Sana maging careful tayo sa mga sinasabi natin againts other people lalo na kung di naman natin sila kilala at wala silang ginawa sating masama or mali. Yes we have freedom and we can say anything we want but please sana gamitin natin yun sa mga positive things to encourage other people not to curse or judge them. Nobody is perfect. Its never too late to apologize. But the best apology is changed behavior. Live happy and positive life :) God bless :)

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  15. What she tweeted was already a reflection of her attitude.
    She's just reaping what she sowed.

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  16. Dapat magtanda sya...sbrang defensive nya...para Lang kc makapag post hay naku.di.nag icip

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  17. Sa mga nagcomment para Kay pia na kahit ganun sinabi nya eh ok pa din si pia. Kung mga tunay kayong kaibigan kilala nyo si pia the way she talk pero sana naisip nyo na mali sya. Ok na lang sana Kung nag condolence k n pang pero Yung sabihn mo n sana si Jon n lang namatay naakapangit. Hndi ko man sila kilala napapanood ko lang girl Hindi freedom of speech yun.instead of Franco si Jon n lang sana Ang namatay? Wow. Sa mga nagsasabi kilala nyo si pia eh si pia gaano nya kilala si Jon pra magsalita sya ng ganon sa tao. Yung wish Jon die instead of Franco sa palagay mo hndi masakit Yun? May ginawa ba si Jon sa yo para magsalita ka ng ganun. Masakit Yung sinabi ni vice sa yo natural galit Yung tao sa sinabi mo. Ako masakit akong masakit akong magsalita pero pinipigil ko kasi ayokong makasakit ng damdamin ng tao unless they pushed me at nauna sila.khit kaibigan ko pag Alam ko n Hindi Tama Ang ginawa nya at nakasakit sya hndi ko kukunsintihin. What if Kung friend mo Ang namatay bu someone says instead her Ang namatay eh ikaw sana? Di ba masakit. Tapos sabihin mo di ka nila kilala pero ikaw Ang mas gusto mamatay masakit Lalo n sa taong mas gusto mong mamatay
    ItNexte bago ka magsasalita isipin mo Kung walang masasaktan khit biro lang

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  18. Yes true, Hindi magandang sabihin yun. Isip muna ateng pia. Ngayon tapos na e better gawin mo changed your behavior. Lesson learned sana.. I pray for you

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  19. Maling mali talaga ang sinabi ng Pia na yan. Sana inisip na niya muna ang sinabi niya. Hindi man ako avid fan nila Franco at Jon pero I adore all the hashtag members kaya masakit na makita silang lahat na nahihirapan sa pagkamatay ni Hashtag Franco. Pero sana pinagpayuhan na lang si Pia ng pamilya at mga kaibigan niya na mali talaga ang sinabi niya.. Si god lang ang may alam kung kelan ang katapusan ng isang tao.

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  20. Right... tumpak... sana mabasa to ni pia....

    Pls... share...

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  21. Naku... Goodluck sa knya! Kkahiya!!!

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  22. For those people around you sayin "We know you better than those who hate you". Maybe you should talk to her (Pia)instead of tolerating this unacceptable statement.... Be minded that she just dropped unlawful words to a person who didn't even aware of her existence.... I feel sad for you Pia, seems you live in a world full or bitterness and insecurities.....

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  23. Ung mga friends nya na nag aadvise na magsorry na lang siya para tapos na..parang walang sense kung ndi nagmula sa puso ang pagsosorry.ung iba tinotolerate pa ginawa ng friend nila...hawahan na ata ng masamang ugali...

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  24. Tama. It is never right to wish someone's death. Sana di mangyari sakanya. Dami pa nyang sinabe di nalang nagapologize.

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  25. Lesson learned we must think the possibilities that might happen when we do or say somrthing....
    Siya na lng nagkamali may gana pang lumaban kung hindi sana niya sinabi yun edi wala ganitong issue...kung siya kaya ang masabihan ng ganun..sometimes we need to be sensitive para sa iba kasi akala natin okay lng yun pala masakit na.....kung gusto mo na hindi ka husgahan hwag kang manghusga...

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  26. Wala man lang sorry sa fb post nung gurl.. puro pa comments ng friends nya na andito lang kmi Pia. My God para syang inapi in the first place naman sya ang may kasalanan nyan.. sasabihin pa nya na this is a free country na pwede mag magsalita kong ano man ang gustohin natin . E kong i wish din ng mga tao na ikaw nlng namatay instead na si Franco matutuwa kaba di ka ba mag rereact ha ate... galing mo din ni pag hinge ng tawad wala ikaw pa nagmamalaki na di ka kilala ng tao kaya jinudge ka nila ng ganyan.. sana inisip mo na nangdawit ka ng pangalan ng tao na hinihiling mong mamatay na wala namang ginawang kasalanan sayu..

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  27. Tama mas masahol pa sya sa hayop ! Tapos parang tayo pa yata yung kailangan na mag sorry sa kanya.

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  28. I sooo love every words you said.

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